About This Series
This post is part of The Mama Assembly’s “What We Say Around Our Kids” mini series, exploring how the words we use shape the way our kids see themselves (and us).
Raising Voices That Know Their Worth
It’s not just what we say to our kids.
It’s what they overhear us say about ourselves, about others, and about each other when we think they’re not listening.
Little ears absorb everything.
Little eyes do too.
Every raised voice, slammed door, or cutting remark, it all teaches them something about love, respect, and power.
And one day, those lessons become the stories they live out for themselves.
The Real Talk Bit
When I was growing up, family violence wasn’t spoken about.
It was accepted.
Parents of my friends knew about what was happening in my home, and not a single one stepped up or tried to help.
No one.
Even when my tooth got knocked out, or I had to wear black 40 denier tights in the peak of summer to cover my bruises.
That kind of silence shapes you.
It teaches you that pain should be hidden, that adults look away, that love and fear can share the same house.
I couldn’t stand true to The Mama Assembly if I only spoke about the easy topics, the ones people don’t shy away from.
Because this is what’s really at stake when we talk about “what we say around our kids.”
Violence doesn’t just start with fists.
It starts with words.
With power plays.
With control disguised as love.
And it’s happening everywhere.
Around the world, systemic violence and assault against women are on the rise.
It needs to stop, and it starts in the home.
Boys shouldn’t grow up watching their fathers, stepfathers, or uncles talk down to women, mock them, or make them afraid.
They shouldn’t be seeing the people they love cover bruises, make excuses, or shrink into silence.
This isn’t “just the way things are.”
This is learned behaviour.
And it can be unlearned.
The Hard Truth
The increase in TikTok videos of women sharing violent threats from partners, it gives me hope and heartbreak in equal measure.
Hope, because at least we’re talking about it.
Heartbreak, because speaking up still comes with real risk - harm, injury, death.
So to every parent, carer, and adult raising the next generation: it starts with you.
Get off the drugs.
Stop drinking to escape.
Do the work.
Deal with your own emotional baggage so your kids don’t have to carry it.
Teach them that love isn’t about control.
That strength isn’t silence.
That respect isn’t optional.
Break the cycle and give your kids a chance at a life that feels safe, kind, and whole.
✨Mini Challenge
This week, don’t just listen to what your home sounds like, notice what it feels like.
Do your kids feel safe to speak?
Do they feel seen?
Do they feel loved without fear?
If not, that’s where you start.
We’re not just raising voices that can speak up.
We’re raising voices that know their worth, and refuse to stay silent when something’s wrong.
Because knowing your worth isn’t self-help fluff.
It’s survival.
It’s legacy.
And it’s how we build a better world, one brave voice at a time.
💬 What’s one thing you hope your kids learn about love, respect, and courage - from what they see, not just what they hear?
This post concludes my four-part series ‘What We Say Around Our Kids’, you can catch up on all parts in tbe links below.
0 comments